Curtis Murayama: In sports and life – don’t embarrass the family name

It’s an imperative sentence that my father would always say—and I’m sure many parents have uttered the same—“Don’t embarrass the family name.”

It’s a declaration that we all want perpetuated.

Unfortunately, two recent incidents saw professional sports figures get caught in the cross-hairs.

One involved a son—of Atlanta Falcons defensive coordinator and former University of Hawaii linebacker Jeff Ulbrich—and the other a father, of an NBA star.

Indiana Pacers point guard Tyrese Haliburton’s father, John, confronted Bucks star Giannis Antetokounmpo after a series-clinching playoff game and taunted him, causing an on-court commotion that could have escalated into something worse. The Pacers defused the drama quickly, banning John Haliburton for home and road games for the foreseeable future.

Still, father John stole the shine from his son’s moment.

Ulbrich’s son’s offense was much more egregious. Jax, a 21-year-old college student, toyed with a person’s emotions and dreams by prank-calling Shedeur Sanders during the NFL Draft and then posting a video on multiple social media platforms.

Jax, who admitted being the perpetrator, got the phone number that was given to his father in confidence and put a call out to Sanders, who was using a phone issued to prospects by the NFL for draft purposes.

Pretending to be New Orleans Saints general manage Mickey Loomis, Sanders reportedly said, “We’re going to take you with our next pick, man, but you’re going to have to wait a little big longer, man. Sorry about that.”

The call was made on April 25, the day of the second and third rounds, as Sanders, a projected first-round pick, was enduring an unprecedented freefall in the draft.

The real Saints GM never did call Sanders, who was picked the next day in the fifth round by the Browns.

Both Jeff and Jax Ulbrich have apologized to Sanders, who acted graciously when he could have easily made it worse.

Still, I feel worse for Jeff Ulbrich than I do for Tyrese Haliburton.

Here’s a father, who, probably like many dads, felt he raised his child the right way and gave Jax all the love and support.

Then the son goes and does this, besmirching the family name.

Jeff Ulbrich had to face the media and answer questions about this incident, instead of focusing on the team’s first four draft picks—two were first-round edge rushers—that would help him excel in his job as the Falcons DC.

At first, I thought it was embarrassing, but after some thought, I feel the anguish extended to being hurt and extremely disappointed.

I wouldn’t know what the next course of action would be if I were Ulbrich, who was fined $100, 000 by the NFL for the incident.

I wouldn’t follow the suggestions of Stephen A. Smith, who said Jax needed to get his “ass whipped ” and that Jeff should roll up on campus and slap Jax “upside the head.”

Jeff Ulbrich offered his own course of action during a press conference, saying “I promised my son and I will work hard to demonstrate that we’re better than this.”

I’m sure most of us—me included—have done some silly and regrettable things, but never for all the world to see.

So, is that our world now, where one person’s views or number of followers are more important than another person’s livelihood ?

Call me grandpa, but I just don’t get it.

Imagine if that prank call were placed to Derrick Harmon, who left his draft party after being picked in the first round by the Steelers to tell his dying mother that he got drafted. She would die shortly after. What if he had gotten pranked, immediately left for the hospital before seeing Roger Goodell make the announcement official, and then telling his mother the false news ? That would have been truly tragic.

I don’t understand how someone can think it’s amusing to play with someone’s emotions that way, ruining what was supposed to be the best day of the person’s athletic career ? That’s pretty insensitive, as well as unconscionable.

However, I don’t believe Jax is a bad person in his core ; he just made a bad mistake and admitted afterward, posting on social media that what he did was “completely inexcusable, embarrassing, and shameful, ” adding, “I’m so sorry I took away from your moment, it was selfish and childish.”

I’m certain Jax learned a valuable lesson in his misguided moment and I hope he’ll do positive things in the future to escape from this episode that he brought upon himself.

Because who wants this to be one’s legacy ?

Jax should have been reminded to live by the tenet espoused by running back Jerome Bettis during his Hall of Fame speech in 2015 :

“When my father sent me off to college, he told me one thing : ‘Son, I’m sending you off to school. I don’t have much to give you. But I have a good name. So don’t mess it up.’”———Reach Curtis Murayama at cmurayama @staradvertiser.com.